I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
