dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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