bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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