and my herpes radar will keep us safe
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
