so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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