I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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