come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
