So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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