im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
