Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
