GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
