Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
