I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
