Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
