then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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