Your tits are I can't wait for
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
