I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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