Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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