ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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