Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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