WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
