I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
