Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
