There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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