we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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