lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
