i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
