i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
