i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
