I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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