somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
