Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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