wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
