marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
