two words: eviction party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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