So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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