Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
