He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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