ugly people sure do ruin things
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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