this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
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Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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