There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
