yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
