i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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