it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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