Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
