After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
