I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am naked and annoyed.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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