new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
