Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
