Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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