I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
