I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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