margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
