2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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