Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
