Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
