It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize